Elijah.

on Thursday, August 6th, my cat Elijah threw up. i made a vet appointment and held him and made him feel comfy in our room because he was a bit lethargic. i debated taking him to the vet that night because he had never thrown up in his almost six years of being alive, but i decided that going the next morning would be fine since his vet didn’t have anything available that night. i will regret this for the rest of my life. on Friday morning, i got up to use the restroom and found him lying on the bathroom floor, having passed away. we believe he passed from a blood clot because he was fine and then all of a sudden wasn’t and he didn’t get into anything and we didn’t change anything about his food or water or anything.

im honestly not doing very well with his passing at all. i feel empty like i have nothing left inside me. im trying to move forward but i keep forgetting that he’s gone. im trying so hard to keep going but i don’t know what to do without him. he was going to be six in October and now he’s just gone. he was fine a week ago and now he doesn’t have life in him anymore.

i just want to hold him again; i want to have him wrap himself around my neck life a scarf or bury my face in his tummy like he enjoyed. we called him my “cat-hat” because at night he would curl up around my head like a hat and sleep on my pillow with me. he was so soft and loved to cuddle with me and just lay his face on my face.

i miss him so much. i keep just slowly starting to cry throughout the day when i remember he’s gone. i try to be quiet about it but when im alone i just let out sobs.

below is a picture of us in my old apartment in Ohio. He loved to lay with me and just fall asleep and now he never will again.

thank you to everyone who has known the last few days and given me their well-wishes.

i will remember him forever.

Sav